Don’t Slip: The Art of Creating Balance
Working overtime painting for my upcoming art show has shown me the importance of balance. While I’ve been so focused on creating the art, I have let other areas of my slip. There’s dishes in the sink, laundry is piling up and what’s a friend? So I set out to achieve it or at least find a process to work towards achieving balance. I read articles and made memes of inspirational quotes. What? Did you say something? I thought that those things cured everything! Basically, that’s what I found. A whole lot of nothing but a bunch of lists of random mind fuck techniques. Nothing truly inspiring. Nothing got past my bullshit meter. Disappointing to say the least until I came across this quote:
So simple and to the point. In keeping in the vein of happiness being a choice, so is balance. It’s a choice. Really it’s all one in the same if you think about it. No steps needed really. Just let go of the guilt and expectation. Ok, did that just make you groan? I can’t stand when people say “it’s as simple as that”, “it’s so easy”. I’m trying to keep up with this blog, my art, my autistic daughter’s upcoming graduation and college prospects, do my nails, work 12 hours a day for ‘da man’, oil my hair, eat right, do yoga, clean my house, and sleep. But it’s so easy to find balance by just being ok with it all. Ok, Jennifer, you’re full of shit just like all of those lifestyle bloggers. Admit it, you’re still frazzled and not everything is going to get done. I like to be spiritual and such but without practicality it’s just wishful thinking. Just being happy with choices can end up with disastrous results. So I say that I’m going to put off one thing to do another and just be happy with that choice. Did the first issue just disappear? Of course not. That idea comes from only looking at half the message. The first half is management. And it implies that your choices are not haphazard but strategic and planned.
Time sometimes can’t really be managed. It is what it is. I have to be at work from 8-5pm. There’s no way around that. However, I can be sure that when I leave work, that I leave work. Never bring it home. That is a boundary. That is the first step to management and finding balance. Other steps that I have found are (in no particular order of importance):
- Get Organized. You cannot plan life. Shit happens but you gotta have some structure. Playing everything by ear leaves you vulnerable to forgotten appointments, late fees and neglected friends and family.
- Set Boundaries. Like I mentioned above. Work is for work. Family is for family. Don’t allow time stealers to distract you. Stay present and dedicate moments for the person or activity that they were intended.
- Managing Expectations from the Outset. I know we all want to be superwomyn. But we’re not. Consider what can be achieved realistically and pare down anything that will require more from you than you can give. That comes with your time and energy, money, physical, emotional and mental strain as well.
- Being Strict with Time. Maxine Waters got us all right together when she said “Reclaiming My Time”. Nothing else needs to be said.
- Non-Negotiables. I used to resent anyone who interrupted my time creating art. I had to realize that that was on me. I allowed them to. I stopped what I was doing to attend to the needs of someone else. I learned that my passion was a non-negotiable. What non-negotiables do you have? If you haven’t gotten any, get some.
Using these few steps, you can tailor your own blueprint for finding balance. I do believe we can have it all. As long as we clearly define what ‘all’ is.
Do you have any advice about finding balance? Let me know in a comment.
